Saturday, 2 August 2014

Why It's Ok To Have 'Me' Time

I recently overhead a conversation between some mums, about how they fit in 'me' time. Let's face it, life is busy, and often mum's are also working, running a household and raising kids. Even if you don't work, you often feel the need to justify it by making sure you have everything under control and running smoothly.

But this conversation made me quite sad, because the mums comments were much along the lines of; "I've only ever left Sam once for two hours" or "my daughter's never been apart from me". The conversation seemed to take a turn from how to find a little 'me' time into who sacrificed the most of themselves for their families. There were a few things that came to mind that I would have loved to say, but the biggest thing was..

You're not a bad mum if you want to be alone sometimes.

Now, don't get me wrong, if you're a stay at home mum and feel like you get more than enough 'me' time once the kids have gone to bed etc, that's wonderful. But these mums were worn out, tired and at almost breaking point. And I just wanted to give them a hug. Because this mum gig is really hard.

Mum guilt is awful, you constantly question if you are doing the best that you can, and then question your decisions again later on. But that's what makes you a good mum.

It's ok to look after yourself too. I'm happy to admit I love when once a fortnight on a Thursday night my husband watches my daughter while I head to the shops to do food shopping on my own. And yes, I usually spend the entire time checking my phone, and smiling at other families and kids I pass, but it gives me a chance to miss my family, and I need that.

It makes me a better mum. It makes me more patient, and it reminds me to be present when I am on mum duty. More than that, I think it's important for my daughter to see her mum looking after herself too, because I would feel awful if she felt it wasn't ok to put her needs as a high priority too. 

So I promise you mumma, it's ok to take some time for you too.

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